The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Thursday, June 30, 2005

Shave And A Haircut, 2 Bits...

Fact #1--I had to teach myself how to shave about 13 years ago. My dad has had a beard for as long as I can remember. Truth be told, if I ever saw my dad without his beard, I honestly don't think I would recognize him. So he didn't really teach me anything about shaving. I had to buy shaving cream and some Bic disposable razors and figure it out myself.

Fact #2--I hate shaving!

Fact #3--I shave my head ever few days as a sort of preemptive "shock and awe" strike against male pattern baldness. I used to use clippers and just go short, but for the past couple of years I have been going Kojak and shaving my head with a razor.

So today I noticed that my hair was getting a little nappy, almost 3 centimeters long. So I ran to my local Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market to pick up some stuff. I was at the razor aisle looking at razorblades. For the past year I have been using a Mach 3 Power. It's a nice razor and gives me a good shave. The biggest problem is that the blade cartridges are almost 10 bucks for cartridges. So I was standing there thinking, I could get 12 disposables for a buck. Surely I can still shave with these things. I mean I grew up using these things. By now, I am experienced and could probably do this with my eyes closed.

So I got home, lathered up my head and got to work. Not bad. But I was shaving the top of my head when I cut myself. Evidently, right above your forehead there is a hidden aorta that half the blood in your body can rush out of. I couldn't get my head to stop bleeding. When I finally got my head to stop bleeding without the use of stitches and/or superglue, I tried to wash my head off.


Blogger EY said...

LOL! so do you have a scab on your head now?

12:26 PM  

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