The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Monday, July 11, 2005

And I Will Always Love You

Shaun Talbot used to give me rides to Junior Achievement meetings my sophomore year of high school. It meant a lot to me because Shaun was the coolest guy I knew. He was a senior and quite the sharpshooter on the basketball team. He was one of the few people I remember in high school that had facial hair that didn't look ratty.

Shaun would pick me up in his hooptie and the entire way to and from JA would be blasting The Bodyguard soundtrack. We would sing along, badly I might point out. We knew all the songs.

In fact, sometimes when I am really tired, I can sing the entire soundtrack.

Hard to believe that was 13 years ago.

This weekend I was flipping the channels. I came upon Bravo's TV show Being Bobby Brown. I started to watch a little bit of the show. It was very odd. I kept on thinking, wow, these people are crazy. Here is Whitney Houston and her husband Bobby Brown completely out of their minds. They are screaming at each other and Whitney is complaining about Bobby and Bobby is complaining about Whitney.

The coup de grace.

Bobby starts telling a story about have to help Whitney take a dump. Evidently he had to stick his hand, well you can leave the rest up to your imagination.

Not only did I start dry heaving on the couch, I began to think about those times back when Shaun Talbot and I were in love with Whitney Houston. She was so beautiful. She had such a great voice. She was so classy.

Now she just seems like some crazy crackhead with no class.

I mean, telling stories about extracting feces from someone else is pretty bad. No one wants to know about that. Those are the kind of stories that my friend Dr. Jason Lofton, recent winner of the Jocelyn Elders Award for Excellence, talks about when we talk about bad weeks and he says, well let me tell you what I saw this week.

But, nope here is Bobby Brown telling the entire world about scoop out Whitney's poop. And all she can do is laugh.

Bobby, Whitney, here is a little tip. Save a little bit of your dignity and keep your mouth shut.


Blogger Drew Caperton said...

People often talk about "guilty pleasures," things they aren't supposed to like, things that are usually uncool to like. I have a guilty pleasure and it is Whitney Houston's Bodyguard soundtrack, highlighted by "I Have Nothing". I, too, was dry-heaving at my computer when I read about Whitney and Bobby from your blog. Thanks for making me lose my lunch.

9:02 PM  

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