The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Thursday, July 21, 2005

Held Hostage--The Owensboro Syndrome

(I know I have posted a lot today, but I wanted to end the day on a funny note, because the last two posts were kind of dark and/or somber...)

Do you ever look back at your life and think one of two questions:

What in the world were we thinking?

How in the hell did we not get arrested?

I actually think of both of these questions whenever I think of my old high school buddies Werner and Zack. Both of whom, I have sadly lost touch with.

But one night we were over at a friend's house hanging out with a bunch of people. Everyone was milling around and being very uninteresting. No one wanted to really do anything at all except talk about how boring of a place Owensboro was and trying to get out of town a.s.a.p.

Well, I guess Werner, Zack and I had grown tired of listening to everyone complain about how there isn't anything fun to do. We decided that we were gonna make our own fun.

We loaded up in Werner's big grey beast of a truck, complete with CB and megaphone. Werner fired up his truck, put on his hoopty hat (a large felt pointed hat with red and white rope around the brim that he picked up in Germany), and laughed his maniacal laugh that meant we were about to find some fun.

Little did we know.

Grab that duct tape there on the floorboard, Lafe!

I did as he asked.

Now wrap it around Zack's wrists.

Once again, I did as he told.

Now put it over his mouth too!

I looked at Zack. We both smiled, shrugged our shoulders and went along.

We were driving down the main street (Frederica Street) in Owensboro around 11 o'clock. He said that he was going to stop at a stoplight. He laid out all the details.

So Werner stopped at the stoplight next to the Don Moore Autoplaza. Zack popped open the door, flew down on the pavement, got up and started running towards another car. I ran out of the cab of the pick-up, grabbed Zack by the neck and threw him in the bed of the pick-up. The people in the Buick LeSabre in total shock. I yelled at Werner to go and pounded the side of the truck in staged enthusiasm. Werner screeched the tires and took off for the highway exit, Zack and I almost to the point of hysterical peeing.

We went back down Frederica Street a couple more times. So that each of us could have a turn at being the hostage. I remember the time I was the hostage, a couple of guys in a truck behind us starting hooting, hollering and honking their horn.

I look back on that now, laugh and think--
I sure do miss those guys...


Anonymous Lynette said...

Well, we leave for Oaxaca in 3 days. I will miss the laughs I get reading your blogs. You tickle me:). I look forward to returning to several new entries (hint hint). Thanks for the daily chuckles and/or reflective moments.

Have a good week drink lots of water and keep cool! Looks like Oaxaca will be the coolest of the 3 states next week:)

6:42 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

That is by far the Most Hilarious Story I have ever heard. Thanks for making me pee in my pants! -Nate(Drew and Kristy's Bro)

8:09 PM  

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