The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Monday, September 19, 2005

Enjoying Nature's Splendor

We are currently having a little bit of an issue at our house with plumbing. Water won't really drain and toilets won't flush. Not sure what is wrong, but we have a call into a plumber, who hopefully knows a little bit more than two things about plumbing. (If you have never heard the plumber joke about the two things you need to know to be a plumber, ask a plumber, he will tell you.)

So we have had to do a little bit of improvising.

When I have drank too much Dr. Pepper and feel the urge, I open up the back door and walk out near the fence.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, sweet relief.

Not much like peeing outside if you are a man. You don't have to worry about aim. You just go. Unless you are standing in snow, then you have to worry about spelling your name. Which I can't do. But I have almost perfected a cursive "L" to mark my spot.

It's a wonderful feeling. Just ask Max McGooden. That boy will go anywhere. Nate has taught him well.

So I am officially announcing that September 20th as National Pee Outside Day. This will be the first such celebration. Hopefully by next year we can somehow find someone in the federal government to recognize the day as a holiday. I mean come on, today was National Talk Like A Pirate Day, so anything can happen.

So unbatten down your hatches men, and yo ho ho, walk the plank and do your business. Arrgghhh!!!


Blogger Lafe said...

Sorry, every now and then I just have to post something gross...

10:21 PM  
Blogger Nelson said...

A-freakin'-men, buddy! I believe I may just go outside my office (around the corner so the other buildings can't see me) and "enjoy nature's splendor"! Even the thought of peeing outside just makes me feel free and manly.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Just watch out for Friendly Fire if the wind is blowing.

Lafe, ever seen such a lovely bike helmet as this?

10:40 AM  
Blogger EY said...

must be nice to have a self attached plumbing fixture. women..are just not as fortunate... (sigh)

10:55 AM  
Blogger Lafe said...

If peeing outside is cool, call me Miles Davis.

Yeah always watch out for the wind.

5:30 PM  
Blogger Nelson said...

I'm a bit disturbed by the picture. Here's why:

Disturbing point 1:
You own a Spiderman action figure

Disturbing point 2:
You spit on the ground so that it looked like Spidey was peeing

Disturbing point 3:
You then took a picture of this setup

Disturbing point 4:
You only did it to have a picture to blog with.

7:14 PM  
Blogger Lafe said...

I actually found that image on google search. So quit judging me!

I have only had one original picture on this blog.

7:19 PM  
Blogger Nate's Nonsense said...

John, who cares? If Lafe wants to put up a picture of Spider Man taking a leak he can. It's called freedom. I would expect you, out of all people, to be stoked about the pic.

Max and I do enjoy taking a leak outside in the wilderness and in the shower. I am excited about the day that Max, Grant and I all line up to take a leak in the backyard together. I'll make Sarah take our picture so everyone can see. I'm getting excited just thinking about it. There's just something about it. I love it! Sarah told me that Max peed outside today in the dirt. Sarah told him not to pee in the dirt next time, to go further into the yard. Max told Sarah he was trying to make a mud puddle.

8:41 PM  

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