The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Friday, October 07, 2005

I Dream This Song

I wake up and I am humming this song...I go to sleep and this song is the soundtrack of my dreams...When my life feels too quiet, I whistle this song...When my head is ringing and I need to concentrate, I still hear this song...

Thursday, October 06, 2005

A Little Late, But It is Still Officially Quirky Thursday!!!

I love the smell of bleach. I was cleaning the kitchen and bathroom tonight, using Clorox Clean-up, and got the smell of bleach on my hands. Every few minutes, I would smell my hands. Does this make me a huffer?

According to the Sense of Smell Institute, who knew, the sense of smell is by far the strongest sense when it comes to memory. My memory of bleach is from Rhode Island. Most of the time, whenever we would cook down near the camp, I would always help wash the dishes. Most of the time, helping out with the dishes turned into me just doing the dishes by lantern. There were three tubs to wash dishes in. There was a soapy water, rinse, and bleach water. We used bleach to disinfect everything. Most of the time, the dishes we ate off of and the glasses we drank out of reeked of bleach. The aroma of bleach was a constant on our hand.

There is nothing quite like waking up in the New England bitter cold and drinking a cup of hot and strong coffee out of a mug that has a slight taste of generic bleach.

Pitching Tents

Last night, Kent and I were talking about his sermons and sometimes saying stuff you didn't really mean to say. He started laughing and said, "I have to send you this video of this guy, it is so funny what he says."

So a few minutes later he sent me this email with a video. I opened it up. The file was titled, "Pitching Tents." I, of course, imagined the scenario and what was said. But when I opened up the file, I realized two things.

1. I know this guy. He used to work in the youth ministry department back at my church in Owensboro. This guy is crazy. Surely this isn't him. Oh my, he apologized to his wife Ali! I know this guy!

2. Of all the Freudian slips in a file named "pitching tents" this would not have been the slip I would have guessed.

I called Kent and asked him where he got this video at. He said that Mike Harper got it and forwarded it to him. I told Kent I would have to make some calls. I called a friend back home and whenever I mentioned that I just got a video emailed to me, my friend told me simply, "Yeah that's Blake."

Too funny! After you watch the video, rewind it and look at his eyes. You can see him actually formulating the thoughts in his head, "Oh my, what did I just do?"

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

We're Stealing It Back!!!

Bono is up for the Nobel Peace Prize, which is pretty amazing. I think it is an amazing tribute to his constant efforts to try and not let "our generation be the know for the internet and for letting an entire continent go up in flames because we didn't want to do anything."

Even if he doesn't get the award, the guy is still the coolest guy in the world, a title that he gained the day Johnny Cash died.

You thought you’d found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It’s a beautiful day
Sky falls you feel like
It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away

Bono--Beautiful Day

Forgetting to Shave with Occam's Razor

I banged my head today on a problem at work. I looked at all the problems and all the solutions. I stepped back. I thought of all the most difficult and expensive solutions possible. I wound myself into a stir until the solution was evident. It was something simple. I forgot to use Occam's Razor.

Occam's Razor (Which by the way, with all the new razor's coming out, why don't they call one Occam's MP3 Power Soothing Razor) is a logic solution to all problems and theories. It states this: The simplest explanation is usually the best.

In the business of our lives, we wrap ourselves up in problems. Then we wrap another layer of problems on like Christmas paper. Until we are engulfed in problems with no solutions. We forget to slow down, step back, and look how we can figure everything out with simplicity and ease.

So today, if you are struggling in paperwork and drowning in stress, relieve yourself (hehehehe) with the good ol' Occam's Razor.

Fall Is Coming Quick

A cold front is coming in today. Pretty soon I will have to leave the old top up on the jeep and keep the heater going. I have always loved the onset of fall. Sure, everyone loves the changing of the leaves, but there is something about the air in the Fall that makes it taste and smell different. It's a good time to wear some old corduroys and drink a glass of bourbon out on the porch.

Gotta love some Fall.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Max McGooden: Patron Saint of National Peeing Outside Day

Nothing More I Can Say Than Sorry

Friday, I went to one of my customers for the last time. The factory is shutting down, actually it is pretty much already shut down. They needed a few items so that they could ship their forklift scales off in working condition.

I was talking with one of the guys I have gotten to know. His name is Bob and he is a bear of a man. He is probably 6'4 and 240 pounds, he is not the kind of man I would want to wrangle with.

We talked about the plant. It was weird, because it was so quiet in the plant. Usually it is dark, loud and dirty. But now you could hear a pin drop. We talked about how long they knew the plant was going to shut down. He said that China is producing product at the same price that they are buying their supplies. When I asked him if he had found another job, he told me no. He hadn't really looked yet.

But the thing that struck me is that we talked about the way things are right now. I told him that I feel more uncertain about the economy and the future that I ever have. He looked at me, with tears almost in his eyes, and said that these were the worst times that he has ever seen.

When I was finished with my paperwork, I shook Bob's hand. And all I could say was that I was sorry that he lost his job.

Sorry didn't feel like enough to say, but it was all I could think of...