The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States

One Word: UNSTOPPABLE AWESOMENESS!!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

DVR Killed The Video Star

I have been putting the DVR to good use and I hate to be one of those bloggers that writes "OMG did y'all watch..." But here goes...

Man Vs. Vegas on CMT--It is kind of like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition if Ty was a bit more ADD and had a gambling problem. It is about a guy who lost 2 million dollars in the late 90's in Vegas. Now, he has pretty much sold everything he can do without and bankrolled himself with 1 million (meeeeellllyan dollars). So he plays a few hands with of blackjack with some teachers from Georgia. He asks them to trust him and put all their money on him. He usually wins it for them, sometimes he stakes people. But the entire show is this guy running crazy around Vegas convincing people that have never played anything about a five dollar blackjack bet. He does some crazy stuff too. Stuff I wouldn't do. Last week he was betting 10 grand a hand at blackjack. He got 20 with a Jack and a ten. He split a TWENTY! He drew a five and a seven. The deal had sixteen and busted. That is insane. That is balls. That is some good TV.

Lost--I have only started watching this TV show in the past month, but I am hooked. The good thing is no one knows what in the world is going on, so I am not that far behind.

Grey's Anatomy--It is soapy, but I like it. Everyone in the world is rooting for Meredith and Dr. McDreamy to fall in love and get married. Too bad he is married. I am rooting forward to him sticking with his wife, I guess it is just because I root for the sanctity of marriage. And the last episode dealt with pryoprism. Which is always funny.

The Sopranos Season 5 reruns--I have seen all of them already, but it is the best show on TV. It is THE reason why everyone should subscribe to HBO. It is about a man who is flawed. And if you can't relate to a man that is flawed but has good moments too, then you are lying to yourself.

My Name Is Earl--I loved Jason Lee in the Kevin Smith movies. And he is even better on Earl. Earl roams around trying to right all his wrongs with a very cool mustache. The show is smart and funny, but the best part is that at the end of the show there is actually a good old fashioned moral to the story.

It also has the best argument ever on broadcast TV...

Earl and his ex-wife at her wedding...

Ex-wife: I can't believe you are here. I hope you get nut cancer.

Earl: Do you kids you illegitimate kids with that mouth?

Monday, November 28, 2005

Play Us A Song, Piano Man

What a whirlwind holiday, and I didn't even try to brave the Black Friday madness at my local Wal-Mart.

I had an invitation from Rockstar Jones and The Singing Banker to celebrate Thanksgiving at their house. Shelli cooked an amazing feast and also put up with 4 men who were hungry for Turkey and a dog with a broken leg medicated out of it's mind. The turkey was delicious, the football game was bad, and the hospitality and company was great. After lunch, I went home a napped. I woke up just long enough to make myself some Thanksgiving spaghetti and watch movies on HBO.

Friday was pretty hectic too. I helped the Hodskins texture their walls of their house. Kent and I talked politics and religion while standing up on ladders scraping the acoustics off the ceiling. We also watched my U2 dvd at least 5 times. It was pretty tough work, but it was a lot of fun. Their boys were wandering around and playing all around us, and that slowed us down a little bit. But as always, the Hodskins boys are so much fun. At dinner, Patrick, two years old, got mad at me for trying to fill his glass up with milk. Not sure why, but he was. After shedding a lot of tears, he apologized to me. He gave me a big hug. Then he came at me giving me a fish face, which means he wanted to give me a kiss. To say that I was a bit surprised to see a two year old boy making a sucking face going right towards what I could only think of was my left nipple would be a bit of an understatement. I started laughing and then Kent and Kristen told me that he just wanted to give me a kiss. Maybe all that gets lost a bit in the translation, but we all got a good laugh out of it.

Saturday I worked at the mall as Santa's bodyguard. Time moved at a snail's pace the entire morning long. Saturday night, I went to go see my buddy Matt Chambers play piano at a bar. He did an amazing job. His version of Ben Fold's One Angry Dwarf and Two Hundred Solemn Faces was amazing. After he got done, we were drinking beers an I asked him a question that he never really did answer. I asked him what it felt like to be the smartest and most talented person in the room. I told him I understood what it felt like to be the best looking guy in the room because that happens to me quite frequently. We just laughed and drank more beer.

Sunday I worked with Santa again and helped out at the Greenhouse at church. By the end of the night, I had the worst headache ever.

Zen And The Art Of A Beer Can

I have been deep in thought somewhere in the back of my mind all day. Hopefully this will make sense to most of you, if it doesn't I apologize. I know my dad will probably understand it...

I have been thinking about one of my favorite books, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, this morning. It has been a heavy morning, if that makes any sense. If you haven't read the book it is about ghosts, shock therapy, fathers, sons, advanced math, values, what is quality and what isn't quality, a little bit of Zen and a little bit of motorcycles too.

I have probably read it three times and listened to it on audio book once. I still don't fully grasp everything Robert Pirsig was trying to say. It might be the most difficult book that I have ever read.

My dad has his own Cliff Notes version of it. He says that the meaning of the book is that if you can fix your motorcycle then you can fix your life.

I don't know, I think that might be a bit too easy.

But at the very beginning of the book, a man has a problem with his motorcycle that can be fixed very easily. All that was needed was a shim, a little sliver of metal that could have been a pop top from a beer can.

But the man has a hard time accepting the fact that the problem's solution is that easy.

I sometimes wonder if that is why I have problems with Occam's Razor. I wonder sometimes if I don't want things to be more complex than they really are. I have a hard time accepting simplicity. It is too easy for me, but a lot of times, it is right for me.