The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Shopping For The Hard To Buy For Communist On Your List

I was talking with my friend John yesterday about Christmas. We were trying to figure out logistics and such. He told me that he and his wife are going to be stopping in Charlottesville to pick up our old high school friend Seamus. It was then that I began to wonder, what do you get a communist for Christmas?

I threw out a few ideas with John, but neither of us could really think of anything befitting our only friend that lives in a commune. In reality, most people orbiting the materialistic Christmas season don't really need much of anything. So, Seamus, who I can only assume is not orbiting this maddening holiday season, doesn't need anything either. He doesn't need any gift cards or strange novelty items that sing or make crude noises.

The one thing I have in my possession that I think he could actually use and like is a re-gift, but I hope it is a re-gift that he likes.

It is a satchel, a manbag if you will. It is nice. It is made of leather. But, I have two satchels and to be honest, a man having two manbags is just plain vanity.

I think it is something that he could use. Plus, I think he will like the story behind the manbag.

It is an old movie prop from John Grisham's movie The Firm. Or so I am told. My friend and local teaching minister Kent gave it to me earlier this fall during a garage sale. I told him that I didn't really need it, but he insisted. He told me that he bought it when he was living in Pasadena. He bought it from a man who sold old movie props. The man told him that Tom Cruise carried it in The Firm. Though I have watched the movie a few times on HBO since I received the manbag, I have not been able to confirm nor deny the fact that it was in the movie. Actually, I think Gene Hackman was the one that carried the satchel. But that is neither here nor there.

I like the idea that somehow this leather satchel, this manbag, passed through the hands of a Hollywood star to a preacher to a garage sale in Arkansas to a communist in Virginia.

I hope Seamus enjoys his gift and can use it.

Waiting to Sneeze

I have been feeling a bit under the weather the last few days. I think it is either the mad cow disease or scurvy, I can't decide which. To combat feeling so bad I have been under a barrage of over the counter medicine for allergies and colds. It makes me sleepy and loopy all at the same time. Most of the last days I have been walking around holding one finger up in the air waiting to sneeze.