The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Man With The Plunger

I was walking through beverage aisle of Neighborhood Market last night. I was picking up a couple of gallons of drinking water because the water still tastes bad here. When I almost ran into some dude. But this was no ordinary dude.

I consider myself a fairly open-minded person and realize that it takes a lot to really surprise me. But this dude made me jump back.

He was wearing all black, had a a couple of rings through the interior of his nose, and was walking through the store with a plunger in his hand like a sword.

I jumped back and almost screamed like a woman. Seriously.

I apologized really quick and made a beeline for the other part of the store. I stood in the deli meat section for almost 15 minutes trying to avoid this dude.

I son't know why I was startled so bad, but I was. I think it wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't had the plunger. I don't know though.

What can I say but I am getting soft in my old age...


Blogger Spencer said...

Sorry man, I didn't mean to scare ya. I keep forgetting to take off my superhero outfit after work. Please don't tell anyone my secret identity.

Your's truly,
Gothic Emo the Unclogger.

10:10 AM  
Blogger Drew Caperton said...

Spencer, I laughed out loud for that one. But seriously, I didn't know you were a superhero. What are Gothic Emo the Unclogger's super powers?

11:22 AM  
Blogger Spencer said...

Well, I'm Goth, so I'm full of angst toward society and buck the status quo whenever possible. This is also why I wear all black, including underwear, nail polish, and lipstick. I’m “Emo” so I’m very in touch with my feelings and have extensive knowledge of the indie-rock scene. I’ll argue with you all day about how Death Cab for Cutie sucks now because they sold out, and then rush home to catch the newest My Chemical Romance video on TRL. I keep the plunger around to make a statement on how I feel about the current establishment and what I think it would take to remove them from office. I also need it for my day job… Other that that, my powers are fairly limited to “staring intently” and having a keen eye for metro fashion trends. I also sometimes pretend I’m a vampire.

Of course, my alter ego, Spencer is completely opposite. He hates the Cure, just recently jumped on the death cab bandwagon and is a conservative republican. He doesn’t have a fashion conscious bone in his body, and he only man in black he admires is Johnny Cash.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Sandy Mc said...

You guys are funny:) But hey as I explore the emergent church conversation I have become keenly aware that inside that goth superhero is a child of God I want to connect with...even though he/she is not like me at all. Even though I find your assessments humerous I feel God wants me to avoid stereotyping anyone...and no I don't do Polish jokes either;)

1:41 PM  

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