The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Monday, February 06, 2006

That Was Me...With Hair

Many people ask me, "Lafe, what did you look like with hair."

My hair was weird. I have always said that my hair used to be proof positive that God has a sense of humor. It used to be thick, really thick. It was dark brown. One time I tried to grow a mullet, but it just grew big instead of long. And the back (where a mullet's party is supposed to be) would grow towards the back of my neck and looked like a nasty duck's ass. I also used to have thick neck hair, which was always attractive.

But then when I was about 20, I noticed my hair was getting thinner and thinner. I would get my hair cut shorter and shorter. If I tried to grow a beard to it would be red. Except for the soul patch (the hair underneath my bottom lip) would be bright blond. I was the follicle equivalent to the elephant man. One day, I decided to just go ahead and shave it off, which really upset my mother. She begged me not to shave my head, but I did anyway. But I was starting to see that the top of my head was looking monkish. No comeover here. I decided to perform a preemptive strike against male pattern baldness. At first I would just use a pair of clippers and cut my hair really short. But for the past two years I have been shaving my head with a razor. I like the smooth feeling.

This is actually one of the few pictures of me where I thought my hair looked pretty good. I had bleached it blond earlier and it had grown out a bit. I think my hair looked pretty good short with a healthy mixture of blond and brown hair. If I could somehow get a rug on top of my head, I would hope it would look a little something like this.


Blogger Kristy said...

Your hair did look pretty cool in this picture...but hey, bald is a saucy look for you too!!

9:29 AM  

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