The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Wednesday, August 02, 2006

An Open Letter To My 2 Day Old Mustache

Hey there Buddy!

I know right now you are still a growing mustache. But you are going to grow up to be a strong and mighty mustache. You are only two days old right now, and you look like a little bit of dirt on my upper lip. But don't you worry.

One day you will grow thick and bushy. We can drive around the South in a 1977 Trans-am. Or maybe we can put on a Hawaiian shirt and Detroit Tigers hat and fight crime. Won't that be fun? But right now you are going to be picked on. It is going to be hard to be my mustache. Mel Gibson might even come along and ask some nasty questions and demand that I cut off all my mustache except the part underneath my nose. (Sorry, blantant cheap shot.)

But don't worry, I will defend you. Sure, you don't know exactly which color to grow out as. Blonde maybe. Who knows, maybe even a light red. Who cares if right now it looks as though ebola has infected my upper lip? Not me. We will get through these hard times. Other mustaches will look down at you. They will make fun of you. But your day will come. You will command respect. You will scream out and say, "Look at me, I am a mustache! Love me!"

I promise I will brush you as much as necessary. I will go out an my mustache shampoo. I will shave the rest of my face every day. I will make sure you are symetrical. Don't worry, I will take care of all the work. You just grow. Cause you know what you are cool. And you will protect me from a sweaty upper lip. And you will be my friend...

Here For You As Always,


Blogger *g* said...

did you submit this?

8:17 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Sometimes it takes a big wake up call, like...oh, I don't know...throwing pizza down your shirt, in order for one to realize just how special your friends are.

You Lafe...are special. And that mustache makes you look really "special". And, I mean "special".

3:34 PM  

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