The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Goin' Roadhouse On Someone

A dramatization, from my mind, of an imagined incident between me and holiday travelers going through TSA inspection at the Evansville Regional Airport.

So here I am running late at the Evansville, barely getting there on time. Of course, there is a line at the security checkpoint. Well, there are people walking through the X-ray machine with belts on and everything else. Of course, they are arguing with the TSA agents that they should be able to take a bottle of water on the airplane and that there is no way that their belt would set off the metal detector. Of course, as I hear these people in front of me bemoaning the fact that the TSA is nothing but BS, which I happen to agree with, I also hear that boarding has begun for my flight. I am almost 30 feet away from the metal detector and I have my shoes in my hand, my jacket off, my keys, cell phone, loose change and MP3 player in my jacket, and ready to go through the X-ray machine. But everyone in front of me is acting as though they had no idea that you had to do all these things to board a plane. With every pass back through the machine, I am getting more angry. It honestly made me want to go Roadhouse on someone or at least see a TSA agent, who have never once made me feel more secure about boarding a plane, take a couple of kneecaps out.

Seriously people, it isn't that hard. I know it is a pain in the ass, but you have to take off your belt, shoes, and almost everything else to get on a plane. I know it sucks, but you have to do it. Just get it over with. Write a letter to the President later, I don't care. But you ain't getting on a plane without jumping through these stupid hoops. So get to jumping.

BTW...I never did understand why the guy waits until the last moment in the fight to break out the gun. But then again, I am trying to use logic and rationale with the movie Roadhouse, which I know I shouldn't do.


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