The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Rocked Our Faces Off

There was a new band in town last night at George's. The band's name was Tin Roofy Rusty and they totally rocked our faces off. Amazing guitar work by the lead singer/songwriter/pyrotechnics genius/good bartender. And he ain't that bad on the ol' eyes either...

Monday, April 10, 2006


I am at best a bad fisherman. I don't go fishing enough to be good, but I have always enjoyed it enough to not throw very many rods in the water, kicking and cussing. I say this all to preface the fact that I visited the Bass Pro Shop in Oklahoma City.

I was walking in Bricktown after dinner and made my way towards the redneck Toys 'R Us that is known as the Bass Pro Shop Supercenter. Wow. You have to walk through a turnstile. Seriously. I was really surprised that I didn't have to buy a ticket.

So I walked back towards the fly fishing department and wished I could fly fish.

I walked through the gun section, the camping section, and a huge tank full of huge fish. The bar-b-que section was pretty awesome too. I honestly think that if me and the good doctor, Jason Lofton, could just fire up a few of those grills we would never again be able to light up any more charcoals on our little grills.

As I was walking out I noticed a DVD section. One DVD caught my eye.



Girls Gone Grabblin' !!!

If you don't know what grabbling is you might recognize it under a different name. Some people call it grabbling, grapplin', or noodlin'. It is the art of fishing for catfish by sticking your hand in a snake hole and shoving your fish in a catfish's mouth and pulling it out of the water. It is simply crazy stupid.

This was a video of bunch of women from the South going noodling. They all were holding up these huge catfish and sticking their arms inside catfish.

Wow, I thought, that is the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life.

I almost bought the DVD, but then I knew that I would just watch it over and over again. Then I would become a hardcore fan of Girls Gone Grabblin' and start to collect pictures and/or trading cards of the women. Then I would just turn into a groupie and end up getting my heart broken by one of these amazing and crazy women who could probably kick the living snot out of me.

Wouldn't it be great to see a commercial late one night when you are flipping through the channels of cable TV and stumble upon a bunch of girls with thick Southern accents screaming and hollering holding up these huge catfish in the arms. Maybe they would have to use those little black censor bars to cover up the fish. That would be great.

Girls and fishing...Now that's hot.