The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

My Photo
Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Monday, May 07, 2007

Inmate # 10121648

My tears were white hot as they ran down my face. The drops raced down my cheeks searching for a finish line, all the while passing through my stubble like a skier on a slalom. The tears only intensified my anger. I felt like someone just turned me on like an oven to preheat. And it was finally when the tears and the sweat from my head began to merge on my face did the anguish become unbearable. It was then that I was so despondent that I began to pray. A prayer like none other I had ever whispered, much less begged from God. I didn't know if it was the right prayer to pray, but it was the one the felt right in those angry moment.

Please God, send this guy to jail. For a long time. I don't know what else to do. I don't know how many more times I can pray only to be disappointed. How many more times can I fast for a man who cannot live in society? How can God expect me to pray and love for someone that I both care for and despise?

Inmate #10121648 let me down again.

Even though he is already in the midst of two cases, assault with a firearm while on the streets and assault with bodily fluid while in jail, and now there is another case to add to his busy docket of criminal activity. Second degree sexual assault.

It was what got me crying this afternoon. It is what brought me to those tears. It lasted for only a few minutes, but I know that when I finally talk to my friend Jesse, who was much more closer to Inmate#10121648 than I was, I know the tears will probably flow again. Probably on both ends of the phone line. We have both realized that we have done so many things, that the only thing left to do was to pray. And we have been quite diligent about praying for his change.

I have tried multiple times to get talk to the DA and the public defender, but all my tries have come up short. I don't even know if they would listen to me when I would tell them about the kid that he used to be. I doubt they believe that there was ever a side of the large, angry, and dangerous man they know prosecute or defend that was good. I am beginning to wonder if I ever saw a side that was good. Maybe he was just conning us all.

I hope not.

Jesse and I have even talked about trying to fly up to see Inmate #10121648. I don't know if he would listen to the only two people that ever cared for him. I hope he would, but I am not sure what we could say to help the situation. I wonder what he would say if I told him I prayed for his incarceration. I wonder if I have given up to soon, or if this even constitutes giving up.

I don't know if I have given up. Maybe I have.

I am now spent from writing this. My emotions drained. The tears almost feel like they are coming back, but they are. And now my hot chocolate has turned cold, and I am wondering if my heart is too.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love you.

9:41 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home