The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Monday, July 30, 2007


Okay, so I have to go in to get a physical today. Besides the fact that I don't like doctors, excluding Dr. Jason Lofton and Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, getting a physical just weird me out. Especially the weird little place I have to go get my physical. The old hippie doctor always weirds me out, and if anyone heard about my little panic attack at the Farmer's market a few weeks ago in Fayetteville you will understand why.

Anyway, when I first moved to Fayetteville 5 years ago, I had to go get a physical for work. Well, this old hippie doctor came in to give the my physical. She had long stringy hair with some weird hippie hair clip in her hair. She had old hippie glasses that were bigger than Larry King's glasses. She does my blood pressure. She checks my reflexes. Then she politely asks me to strip down to my boxers. Well, I was just so happening to be wearing a pair of Halloween boxer shorts because it was the season.

She asked me to turn my head and lower my boxers. Up until this time, she had been putting on the gloves and whatnot. I have my head turned dread this hippie lady squeezing my nuts while I try to muster a cough.

"Well, those are cute," she says as she begins to squeeze.

I cough, gasp and ask, "When you say those, what do you mean those?"

She replies while unsqueezing, "Your boxers."

At first, I was relieved. I thought she was talking about, well, you know. And I am not exactly sure if calling those cute would be the proper compliment. But even if she was just talking about my boxers, it still weirded me out.

You have no idea how much I hope hippie lady isn't there. Oh yeah, and I will be wearing the plainest underwear I can possibly find...


Blogger Stu said...

Well, they are cute if you ask me.....

(I'm just gonna let that one hang out there)

11:33 AM  
Blogger jlo said...

Do you remember where you got that physical? I just might know who you are talking about.

by the way, I thought you had done away with your blog until I realized somehow a extray forward slash (/) got put in your site on my template?

Glad your back.

9:32 PM  

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