The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Tuesday, February 06, 2007


So, in all the madness of the past winter storm, I forgot to blog about something that happened last Wednesday. No, not the fact that it took me 2 1/2 hours to drive home. No, it wasn't the hilarious scene of a kid in a suit that was two size too big trying to push a Crown Vic up the side of a hill. It was that I almost killed a bald eagle.

I was driving back from Gentry to Siloam Springs. I was listening to some tunes on my MP3 player when a bald eagle swooped down right next to my windshield. I could see it's eyes. It was spooky.

I looked around and saw the eagle soar off, but it scared the poop out of me.

I began to wonder, would it be a crime if I hit a bald eagle. Would it be eagle bird slaughter? Killing an endangered species is illegal. I could get in real trouble. They might even would take away my membership in the Green Party.

I also thought of the time my Dad and I saw a bald eagle at the Joe Ford Nature Center in Owensboro. I was just a kid, but we were walking around the trails, and I took my binoculars out. I saw something up ahead. I took the binoculars away from my eyes and looked at my dad.

"Dad, there is a bald eagle in front of us."

He looked at me and said, "Surely, not."

"Dad, I know what a bald eagle looks like."

He grabbed the binoculars and looked for himself, "You're not a shittin'."

We walked over near it and it was on a perch. It was a part of an exhibit that a man took around the country and showed groups and schools. It was very menacing up close. It was a magnificent bird. It was strong, regal, and breath-taking. Every know and again, Dad and I would be out bike riding and see another eagle perched up on top of some trees. But those sightings were few and far between.

But there is nothing like seeing a bald eagle up close. I just would have preferred not seeing it while traveling at 45 m.p.h.