The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States

One Word: UNSTOPPABLE AWESOMENESS!!!

Friday, March 16, 2007

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!!!

Jen entered a photo contest a couple of weeks ago on Taraleighcobble.com. Well, she ended up winning the grand prize, an autographed book and CD. The contest was to fixate googly eyes on something and send it in. The best one wins. Jen sent in a lot, but won with the photo below. Funny stuff. Osteen already creeped me out, especially some of his church members that were shown on HBO's Friends of God, but these eyes make him even more bizarre (And I didn't know that was possible).


Once He Finds Us



I found this jewel of a song on eighteenminutes.com a few weeks ago. I have been humming this song ever since. I know I have said it before, and I will say it a thousand more times, go buy a Todd Snider album. His songs represent the duality of the human soul, part rebellious and part meek. I don't know why Folk singers write the best gospel songs, but they do.

I used to have this album, and honestly forgot about it, guess it is time I ought to pick it back up.

Once He Finds Us
From Viva Satellite

I don’t know how I found Jesus
I don’t care now he’s in my heart
And once he finds us
He never leaves us
No matter how far we fall apart

I used to wonder what I was missing
I used to think that I was missing things
Now the words of calmer voices
Sound like angels bowing strings

He was there when nobody else was
He was there when the work was thin
He was there when my father left us
I am here now to work for him

A Little Humor In Rush Hour Traffic

The concert last night was really great. But maybe one of the most memorable things about last night happened when we were driving.

Rockstar, Shelli and I were getting off at the Sheridan exit in Tulsa. There was an old school Ford pick-up truck with a huge toolbox in front of us. We could see this guy (with a spectacular mullet) in the pick-up drive up really close to a moving truck. I was thinking, oh yeah, we are about to see a fight. The guy started to yell at the other guy in the moving truck, but then gave the guy the old "rock n' roll" sign.


This guy (with a spectacular mullet) is yelling at this guy in this moving van. Then, from the back of the pick-up bed, a blanket pops up and this girl pops up to see what is going on. She is somewhat disheveled and she began to wipe her eyes. Then this boy pops up from underneath the blanket to see what all the commotion is about. They say a few things and then lay back down underneath the blanket.

It was like watching the movie Joe Dirt unfold right in front of us.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

F!@# Luckenbach, Drink With Us!!!



1 Day away from the Willie Nelson concert and I am pumped up...And if you don't understand the title of this post, go out and buy Todd Snider's Near Truths and Hotel Rooms album...

My Dad's Best Forward



I don't usually read forwards. I have enough trouble just reading emails. Which, by the way, I have received a half a hundred bracket invitations.

My dad sends me the most forwards. He usually forwards me rated R pictures and political statements that I don't necessarily espouse. So, I usually open up his forwards with a bit of trepidation. But when I opened this video, I was in awe. And this officially became the best forward my dad has ever sent me...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Awkward Moment #5723

Weird things happen in Springdale... This happened this morning.

I was at the Kum and Go getting a couple of bottles of water. When I went up to the counter, the cashier and I had this awkward exchange.

Her: You don't want any chocolate? It's on sale. You don't like chocolate?

Me: Yea, I like it, but I gave up sweets for Lent.

Her: I gave up celibacy for Lent.

Me: Hmmm, how's that going for you?

Her: Off and on. Here's your change.

Me: Uhh, well, good luck with Lent.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Amazing Grace




I went to see Amazing Grace this weekend with Jen. It was a really good movie, which actually surprised me. (It didn't surprise me as much as the ticket takers at the movies checking people's driver's licenses to go into a rated R movie.)

But after the movie, Jen and I were talking about the movie at Village Inn. We both could not understand how anyone could justify slavery. Even though it was over two hundred years ago, I still can't understand it. How could anyone justify slavery and call themselves a Christian at the same time?

But what I have been wondering the past day or so is this: what will the future generations find unbelievable about us? What will people see about the way we live our lives, right now, and find unacceptable and hypocritical?

(Here is a clip of Vic Wooten, the best bass player in the world and no one will every argue that point, playing Amazing Grace. Oh yeah, he will be at George's Majestic Lounge in a month or too. Can't wait...)

I Don't Usually Pimp My Friends, But

I usually listen to half a dozen sermons on podcasts every week. Last week, I listened to one from my buddy, Kevin, back in Owensboro. It wasn't a home rub, but a grand slam. The title of the sermon is Playing It Safe Is Risky.

Buy Me Some Peanuts And Crackerjacks

Just for the record, I like neither peanuts or crackerjacks...

Yesterday, Justin Jones and I went out to a ballgame at Baum Stadium. The Razorbacks and Kansas has a noon first pitch, and we arrived in the middle of the first inning. So here a few things that happened at the ballgame.

I got up to go to the concession stand, and when I did a foul ball was hit into our section. When I got back to my seat, I asked Justin where the foul ball was hit to. He told me that it was about 4 seats down from where I sat. Dang it.

There were some teenagers sitting in front of us without shirts. After every pitch they would yell something and then all laugh at each other. I looked over a Just and said, "I sure am glad I am not a teenager anymore. But the good thing about me is that I knew I was a dork and didn't try to enhance my reputation."

There was also this man sitting a few rows down with his three kids. The entire game he was pestering the shortstop. He kept on talking about talking about how boring Kansas must be and how the shortstop had probably never seen anything this great as the SEC. I wanted to stand up and yell, "Hey, shortstop, have you ever seen this many number of redneck morons setting a bad example for their kids in your life?" I didn't because Justin and I would have had to make a break for the door rather quickly.

It was a beautiful day. But the sun was brutal on me. I had sunscreen on, but I was still getting baked. I had to take my hat off periodically to prevent the dreaded "2 quart low bald head" look.

We left in the middle of the 6th, the game was boring. There had only been four total hits and one run by the 6th. But the good news is that baseball season is here.