The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Tuesday, May 15, 2007


I filled up my 12 gallon gas tank up on Saturday and it was the most money I had ever spent on gasoline for my Jeep.

$37.50. $3.20 a gallon.

I am beginning to think that my dad has it right and that we should tell everyone that we have found another fuel source and that they should "eat sand and die."

I really hope that our dependence on oil and the need to find a renewable energy source will be on the forefront during the '08 election. I doubt it will. Both sides will use wedge issues to divide the electorate. And both sides of the aisle get major money from energy companies, not just one side of the political spectrum as most try to make people think.

So that is why I am going to participate in One Hour No Power on July 1st. And I am encouraging as many people to participate as I can. This sounds sort of like the mass email that went around telling people not to buy gasoline today, but it isn't. The One Hour No Power is designed to raise your awareness of what all you can accomplish by conserving. Even think that even those that believe that global warming is a farce can see the benefits in the awareness of everything that we consume.

It isn't as much a Republican or Democrat thing, it is a mankind thing. I could keep on writing but I will turn the floor over to a professional, Wendell Berry.

"We have lived by the assumption that what was good for us would be good for the world. We have been wrong. We must change our lives, so that it will be possible to live by the contrary assumption that what is good for the world will be good for us. . . We must recover the sense of the majesty of the creation and the ability to be worshipful in its presence. For it is only on the condition of humility and reverence before the world that our species will be able to remain in it."

I Heart Mom

So Mother's Day was Sunday, and I meant to post this sooner. So a few days late, a few dollars short...

My mom is pretty amazing. She was in town a few weeks ago. She decided to go on vacation and decided to drive to Charleston, SC to see my sister, except she decided to take the route that went through Fayetteville, AR. Which, for those of you not trained in the fine arts of Geometry (Shelli Jones!), is not anywhere close to either Owensboro, KY or Charleston, SC. She decided to take a trip by herself just because she's "a grown-ass woman and can do whatever she wants."

When she was here, we laughed a lot. A lot. She told me stories that I had forgotten. She even brought a photo album to embarrass me in front of Jen. It was a lot of fun to have her around. But here are just a few highlights, and a few of the many, many reasons why I love my mom so much...

1. I asked my mom if she had seen the news about Queen Elizabeth being at the Kentucky Derby. She said she had and then went on about a 5 minute rant on why in the hell the Queen of England has to carry around a purse.

2. We went to the Tyson World Headquarters. She wanted to see all their new Research and Development kitchens. We were turned away by two or three people. But my mom persevered. She talked to a receptionist and talked her way onto a personal tour of the entire Headquarters. It really was quite amazing.

3. We went to the Daisy Air Rifle Museum in Rogers. The thing I remember most about growing up and going on vacation with my mom is that she would damn near stop the car on a dime every time we passed by a roadside marker. It didn't matter how trivial the marker was, it was always about learning. And even though my mom and I both don't care anything about guns, we stopped and went through the museum.

4 My mom appreciates food like no one I have ever met. We ate at Hugo's and Noodles in Fayetteville. One day we were in Rogers and it was getting to be lunch time. She said, "Take me some place local." I replied that anything local in Rogers would be Mexican food. So we went to Maria's, the only Mexican restaurant in the world that doesn't serve margaritas. My mom was eating her lunch and the picked up a few tomatoes on her fork. "Look at the way these tomatoes are sliced. Look how small and thinly they have been diced. That's by hand. That's brings out the flavors. Most places don't have tomatoes like these."

5. We were also in Springdale and went by Pruden Real Estate's office. There was no one in the office, so Mom went over next door and asked the lady about the people that owned the office. Mom told the lady that she was formerly a Pruden and asked all about these people. She talked to the lady as though she had known her for years. She even asked the lady what the Prudens looked like. "Do they have big ears? The Pruden men all have big ears. They look like Pat Buchanan. I bet he has some Pruden blood in him some where."

I love my mom for a myriad of reasons. These are just a few of our experiences in the past week or so.

I love you Mom...