The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Two Confessions

1. I was a big Phil Collins fan in high school. Seriously, I don't know why, but seriously, I bought No Jacket Required before I ever bought a Nirvana album.

2. I have always been a steering wheel drummer.


Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Please Nicole, Listen to Kige

Kige is right, I need to get tested soon...

I saw this online this weekend, and I laughed so hard, I thought my head would explode. And as always, the guy is from the Commonwealth, so I am just so darn proud.

Kige Ramsey is a reporter for Youtube Sports as well as Youtube News. He mostly does reports from his basement though sometimes he brings us news from the auto department at Wal-Mart. And if his Fantasy Football picks are right, my team will impale other teams like the Spartans did on 300.

But the great thing about Kige is the way he brings me news. Brian Williams dawdles around and hems and haws. Anderson Cooper is too busy trying show off his stunning gray hair. Katie Couric shows them off. Not Kige. Kige gets down to the point. He cuts through all the crap and tells me what I need to know. But I love how he lets us into the bright lights and glitz of television journalism.

Kige breaks down the 4th wall...

The Bottom

So last week I was feeling pretty sick. So I went to the doctor's office. And no, it wasn't the doctor's office I have previously mentioned.

My sinuses were wreaking havoc on me. The doctor gave me some antibotics. He also said that he could give me a shot that would speed things up. "Sure," I said, even though I am not a very big fans of shots.

So the nurse comes in the room, and that's when things began to get weird.

She has the syringe and tells me that she is going to give me a shot. In the bottom.

I asked, "In the bottom of what?"

She told me that I needed to turn around and drop my pants. (How come I have so many stories on my blog that involves me with my pants off?)

Here I am, bare ass and all. The nurse asks me which side I want it on. I told her that I didn't really care. Right side, I guess.

She told me to lean over towards the left so that she could give me the shot. And then she gives me the shot, not in my bare ass, but in my hip. My hip!

When I asked why I had to drop my pants, she never gave me a really good answer. But at least, I have another bare ass Lafe story...