The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

You Say You Want A Revolution

So I am now a Republican.

Now this might shock a few people. But I decided to change my party affiliation today, actually I designated a party affiliation for the first time in the state of Arkansas. And the reason why is very simple.

I want to vote for Ron Paul in 2008. And one way or another, I am going to vote for Ron Paul in 2008.

I want to vote for a guy that has the balls the to have a "Don't Steal: The Government Hates Competition" sign on his desk. I like most of his ideas. He wants to go back to a more Constitutional country. He wants our government to make sense. He isn't going to sugar coat things. His plan for America is revolutionary, and that is why he won't win. But I think our country needs to be shaken up, and Ron Paul isn't scared to do the shaking.

I want someone that is different. And Ron Paul is different. He is not status quo.

I am tired of status quo politics.

I want something different.

I want the "Blessings of Liberty."

The United States of America is the greatest country in the world, and if you want evidence of that look at the Presidential election of 2000. The person with the most votes in the entire country lost the election. And no one brought out tanks. No one took the streets with assault guns. There was debate, but no violence. That sort of thing doesn't happen in most countries.

But our country needs to fix a lot of things. Our government is so wrapped up in rules and red tape that it cannot function. I want smart, constitutional, and functional government.

And I think that Ron Paul is the only candidate that wants the same kind of government that I want. Others candidates will just try to sell us that they want good, smart and functional government.

P.S. I technically didn't have to designate a party affiliation because in the state of Arkansas, anyone can vote in any primary, every two year. This makes no sense and seems unfair. So I officially became a Republican anyway. When I called the voter registration, the lady tried to explain this to me, but I can't grasp a system where you can vote for either party in a primary. After she officially changed my designation, I asked her if I got a card of anything like that. She said no. I laughed and said that I guess I would just know it in my heart. She didn't know whether to laugh, so she said thank you and hung up.

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Best Closer in the Game

Well, the Red Sox are back in the World Series. A lot of the reason why the Red Sox are back in the World Series is because of Jonathan Papelbon, the best closer in the game.

Paps might be my favorite player on the Red Sox, besides Youkilis, who I usually lovingly refer to as "Fatboy." For example, "Run Fatboy, run." "Slide Fatboy, slide!"

But Paps is crazy. You know that guy in college that you knew that was always intense and slightly bat shit crazy, then you would see him at a bar and a party. You would think, oh no, this isn't gonna be good. You braced yourself for him to rip his shirt off like Hulk Hogan and then punch someone in the throat like Patrick Swayze did on Roadhouse. But after a few beers, and by few beers I mean a lot of beers, he came over and started to dance. Then he would offer you a few of his beers, and then he would give you a great big hug. And for the rest of the night, whenever you were in his general proximity, he gave you a great big bear hug. And of course, the next day he would go back to being just as intense. Well, that guy, that jackass you knew in college, well, he evidently is making millions of dollars now and is the best closer in the league.

Paps celebrating the AL pennant, at least he kept his pants on this time.

He didn't in this clip.