The Unauthorized Biography of Rosco P. Coltrane

When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed, but every hero walks alone, thinking of more things to confess

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Location: Owensboro, Kentucky, United States

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Monday, April 06, 2009

Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

Jen and I went to Books-A-Million last night. Jen calls it "The place the alphabet forgot" due to it's lack of any resemblance of alphabetical organization. She was looking at a book, when I told her that "we might have to go home soon." A few minutes lingered by.

"I will be right back, I have to go find the bathroom."

It's not something I am proud of, but let's all be adults here and admit that sometimes we get caught out somewhere and can't wait to get home. Try as you may to hold it, there comes a time when you know that you need to find a bathroom in a hurry. (Jen also has a term for this time as well, she calls it critical mass.)

So I head towards the bathroom at the back of the store looking exactly like an Olympic walker. I rush in and immediately regret not planning better. The Owensboro Books-A-Million Men's room needed to have yellow police tape around it because it looked like the scene of a crime. A very, very nasty crime.

But, like I said, it was an emergency. So I did what I had to do.

I began to inspect the bathroom, trying my best not to look at the floor. I started to read the graffiti on the wall. The wall was faily clean and clear of any writing. But there was one thing I could make out.

"The Lion King was OK."

I began to wonder about this statement. And I could never get my head around the statement.

1. When was this written. I know that The Lion King came out in 1994. Had this been on the wall for 15 years?

2. Let's say for instance, this was written recently. Why would you feel the need to let all the men that are at "critical mass" know that the fact that you couldn't get over the plausibility of the animals talking and made the cartoon only so-so.

3. Seriously, who in the world didn't like The Lion King? Was this the rebellion of a father that has had to purchase a second copy of the DVD because their child had watch the movie over and over?

I don't know they answer to any of these questions. And I must say, these questions disturbed me. So I finished my business and washed my hands like I had OCD.

And vowed never to go in the Books-A-Million Men's room again.

3 Comments:

Blogger Kate said...

I have found my new favorite blog. Thanks, Lafe!

9:30 AM  
Blogger James Miller said...

Dearest Lafe-

These are also the types of things I think about while using public restrooms. This is an especially odd thing to write on the bathroom wall, but is there anything truly worth writing on there? Also, the possibility of a Louisville show has re-emerged for The Great Nostalgic. I'll let you know. We're looking in Kentucky, eastern Ohio, and western PA now to possibly fill the 3 days between Chapel Hill, NC and Norfolk, VA. I'll keep you posted.

James

11:32 PM  
Blogger Jake T said...

Maybe they meant ok, like "at the end of the movie, he didn't end up dead"?

Seriously, though, hysterical.

5:37 PM  

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